Before coming to ESH I’d been in active addiction for over 20 years and had reached a point in my life where I felt mentally/emotionally broken and spiritually empty. Not even drink or drugs could numb, any longer, the pain, misery and shame I was feeling. Over the years I’d had many external rock bottoms, prisons, hospitals, detox/rehabs, police cells and homelessness but still none of those could keep me clean. As soon as I had money/drugs again I'd feel fine and carry on.
I then came to experience, I believe my first internal rock bottom that no substance could help me escape from and all I wanted to do was end it all which I then proceeded to try, ‘unsuccessfully’ (story of my life).
Through my local drug services I heard of a place called ESH and through them and some sorting out I was on my way. When I first got to ESH, I saw that the location was perfect, unlike any treatment centre I’d been before. The surroundings and views are amazing. I was made to feel very welcome and that any worries, anxiety I’d had about how things works and what I needed to do were put at ease straight away and was made to feel part of it, it being the family feeling where everyone looks out for one another and helps each other.
I was shown a lot of love and guidance. All the staff had their part to play and have been brilliant. With it being a peer led treatment centre where all the staff have had their problems with addiction in one form or another which also showed me that recovery was possible. There’s that old saying, you can’t blag a blagger. Well, I found out the hard way that you can’t blag an ex-blagger either. I really wanted what they had, some calmness and inner peace.
During the course of my stay here I really had to learn how to listen properly, which was hard at first but at certain stages I started to become aware of changes in how I was feeling and thinking and slowly began to feel a little peace within.
Fast forward a little as I’m aware that this isn’t my life story. I am currently living back in society clean and sober and doing the things I’ve learned and were suggested to me whilst in ESH and today I feel like a new man and better than I have done in many decades and could never show the gratitude and love I have for what ESH and all the staff here have helped me to achieve in only a short amount of time.
It’s been emotional and I love you all.
PS ... This won’t be the last you see of this beautiful face HA!